I am Anthony Lewis. In March 2025, I lost my wife to suicide and became a widower at 36 years old. Ever since that day, I have transcribed every bit of this harrowing experience.

42 days after my wife’s death, I attempted to join her. In “First, She Chose to Die. Second, So Did I!!!: How My Wife’s Suicide Led to My Attempt” I provide the story in raw and vivid detail, and offer my perspective and insight on the topic of suicide as both a surviving spouse and as a survivor of my own attempt.

In “One of Us Died, the Other Went to Hell: A Young Widower’s Raw and Honest Account of Early Grief” I describe my experience in the first year of grief through a collection of poems, blogs, and other various writings I have made along this journey. I also provide my observations, perspective, and insight on the non-linear experience of early grief.

My writing is beautifully raw and honest but the impact it contains is important. It can bring camaraderie and comfort to others in the throes of early grief to help them feel understood and less alone.

It can also help those who are suicidal to reconsider taking their own life. Sharing my story and the impact can allow for a clear view into the destruction left in the aftermath of suicide.

Whether you’re bereaved, suicidal, or an observer just trying to make sense of it all, I hope my writing serves you well.